Wednesday, December 31, 2014

This Year - guest blog by Julie Davis, MFT

This week, I invite you to appreciate YOU - not from the ego ("Look at me! Look at how great I am!"), but from your heart: "I worked hard this year, at times when I didn't want to and in ways that were scary and confusing and painful."

Think about all the times you wanted to quit - on yourself, others, God - but didn't. Sure there were times you did quit, but take some time to reflect on how, when, where, why you hung in there and took the harder path this year - towards relationship rather than task accomplishment, towards faith rather than fear, towards acceptance rather than judgment.

Instead of focusing on what didn't/isn't working in your life, unwrap the gift of compassion for yourself and reflect on the courage it took to admit and work on your shortcomings this year. If this is hard for you, I invite you to put down the whip, pick up a colorful crayon and complete the following:

This year, I learned...

...I have courage to__________________________________________________ .

...I have strength to__________________________________________________ .

...I have wisdom to__________________________________________________ .

...I have faith to_____________________________________________________ .

...I have support to__________________________________________________ .

Julie Davis
704-807-1101
Certified Rapid Resolution Therapist
Licensed Marriage Family Therapist (CA & NC)
www.juliedavismft.com julie@juliedavismft.com 

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on TwitterFacebook, and Google+. Sign up for the e-newsletter HERE.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Mini-Missions: Simplify & Add Joy to Your Life In Less Than 30 Minutes

A great stocking-stuffer or Secret Santa gift for any adult, Mini-Missions offers a life lesson for each week that can be completed in under 30 minutes. Anything from how to improve your credit score to how to be a better friend to how to have a cleaner house is included in this short, handy guide.

It is available at Amazon for only $8.50 (less on Kindle, if you want to keep it for yourself) and even has a match book price if you want to give a paper copy and keep a digital copy, so you'll save a few bucks!

If you've already read it, won't you please leave a review on Amazon and tell people how your life was made a little better by clicking HERE?

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Prescription for a Healthy Happy Life - Guest Blog by Tomiko Fraser Hines

Drink more water. Or start drinking water. Yes, YOU.
Eat healthier. Be mindful of what you're eating. With each bite think "Is this helping or hurting?"
Exercise several times a week. Find something that you love doing that keeps you moving and GET UP AND DO IT.
Get more sleep. Turn off the computer and television and take your tired ass to bed. You know you need it.
Brush and floss your teeth twice daily. We all forget about the flossing. Let's commit to remembering.
Get annual check ups (including dental and GYN if applicable). Ask questions. Take great care of and be informed about your body temple and what it needs to function properly.
Get yearly mammograms and prostate exams (if applicable). Yes, I am talking to YOU.
Powerfully and authentically express your creativity. Whatever that is, give it permission to run free. Bottled up creativity is truly a slow death.
Forgive yourself and others. Harboring unforgiving thoughts is like giving yourself poison every day. Stop that.
Love, love and love some more. It's needed from you and for you.
Play more. Dance more. Sing more.
Surround yourself with people who recognize and appreciate your SHINE. And be that for others.
Be an example of what's possible when you really give it your all. Someone needs to see it.
Stop people pleasing. NOW. They should love you for who you are, not for what you will do for them.
Communicate with others the way you want them to communicate with you or your children (if you have them).
Accept yourself as you are as you work to better yourself. There is NOTHING wrong with you. You're already a diamond. You may just need some polishing is all.
Tell your loved ones how much you appreciate them often. Don't assume that they know. Extra credit for asking them to do the same for you.
Raise your children to love themselves and to embrace the differences in others. We CAN heal this world of ours.
Connect with nature often. Fall into its healing embrace whenever you can.
Declare your goals out loud as if they are already so (I AM..., I HAVE...). Bonus points for doing so in front of folks who will support your vision and lovingly hold you accountable.
Treat yourself kindly. Be gentle, encouraging and loving with YOU.
Live powerfully self-defined. It's YOUR life and you get to choose how it plays out. No seriously, how life affects you is YOUR choice.
*So now that you know you can stop pretending that you don't.
READY! SET! GO LIVE POWERFULLY!

Reposted in its entirety with permission from the author, Tomiko Fraser Hines. Read more of her works at her Website or on Facebook

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on TwitterFacebook, and Google+. Sign up for the e-newsletter HERE.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Stress-Free Holidays

Would you prefer to go through this holiday season free of the stressors of last year? To move through family gatherings without feeling the pressure of living up to others' standards? To stay on budget and feel good about the savings and the purchases? To meet those little obligations, saying no to some of them without guilt or shame? To look at your to-do list with a sense of calm instead of panic? Hypnotherapy can frame your mind in a way that allows you to move seamlessly through even the formerly stressful portions of life, to gracefully handle this holiday season, and many more to come. Call Autumn to schedule an appointment at 954-612-9553.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on TwitterFacebook, and Google+. Sign up for the e-newsletter HERE.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Primitive Mind

Some of my success stories are merely recognizing that a client has assimilated information I've given him/her. This was beautifully illustrated recently in a group I run for recently released inmates.

One of the participants is my individual client. When asked what she had taken away from any of the groups that month, she reported, "I really liked last week's group. I was watching one person complain about his job and no matter what anyone suggested, he couldn't hear them. He was in his primitive mind and he needed to bite or run. He couldn't be logical or rational in that state of mind. It was good for me to see that, to be able to reflect on what it means when I'm angry or upset, and how I need to take a break and get out of my primitive mind and to where I can be rational again. I realize that it also means I can't ask anyone for advice, or even vent, in that state, because nothing is going to do any good until I'm calm."

She gets it.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on TwitterFacebook, and Google+. Sign up for the e-newsletter HERE.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Important vs. Useful

I was recently at a training for Rapid Resolution Therapy®, the method I primarily use in treating clients. My trainer, Dr. Jon Connelly, discussed throwing away the word important from our vocabularies. It's an excellent point and one I hope you'll consider.

The rationale: When you say something is Important, it means that it is necessary, that without it you will come to great harm or death. It starts with a capital letter and has an implied underline.

What in your life do you nonchalantly refer to as Important? Is it important that your spouse pay attention to you when you're talking? Is it important that you exercise in the morning? Is it important that you pay your bills on time? And if these things don't happen - as life is so often wont to not do as we would prefer - what happens then? Do things fall apart? Does the earth shatter because your spouse was preoccupied, your morning routine was disrupted, or you forgot to pay a bill that was due when it was due? Certainly not, but there is an implied sense of failure when something important does not get accomplished.

Of course, it would be useful or practical if those things were true; but herein lies the difference. If we think of things as practical or useful, certainly there is an implied desire, but no emphasis on need. Desire all you like, but when you depend on some facet for your happiness, you will surely be disappointed time and again.

When you talk to yourself, ask if something is useful, say it's useful (if it is), and pursue that which is useful/practical/beneficial to your life. When you talk to clients, find out what is useful to them and light with appeal that which is useful/practical/beneficial so they can pursue it with ease. But throw out Important with all it's negative weight of "should" and "must" and "have to" that is so quietly implied behind that silent capital letter.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on TwitterFacebook, and Google+. Sign up for the e-newsletter HERE.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Focused Attention

Rapid Resolution Therapy® is especially beneficial to individuals with Attention Deficit issues and other easily distracted individuals. Hypnotherapy can be used to focus the mind on what needs to be attended to and remove that which is unnecessary.

For instance, when you see this photo, what do you notice? 

Now look at just the sky.
Now look at the wires and city life.

Attention can shift. Mind can be taught to do this seamlessly and quickly.

Schedule an appointment to learn this mind trick and increase your daily focus to get even more done with joy.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on TwitterFacebook, and Google+. Sign up for the e-newsletter HERE.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Sheros - Guest blog by Tara Dickherber, LPC

Back in the 80’s or 90’s or some time like that I remember there was this push about being a Super Woman- have it all, do it all, be it all.  I look back now and think “What a load of crap.  What a great way to set women up to think they aren’t enough.”  I’ve been slowly reformulating that whole concept into this- Shero: Female Hero.  I my opinion there’s a DRASTIC difference between Super-Woman and Shero.  Let me walk you through what I have so far, and so far I’ve put together enough that I’ve roughed out a book on this very topic.  (Notice I say roughed out, it’s a project in the works and very near to my heart personally and professionally.)

As a Licensed Professional Counselor in the St. Louis area I specialize in working with survivors of sexual trauma.  I see more women than men basically.  Most of the women I work with come in with their chief complaint being self-esteem/self-confidence issues.  It’s a rarity that I see a female client who doesn’t state they have those issues.  First things first we throw the whole concept of better self-esteem out the window.  It’s such an abstract concept.  Like what does self-esteem feel like?  It feels like being comfortable in your own skin and your world.  Let’s aim for that instead!  If we can feel it, if we can conceive of it we are more likely to get there.  Most clients that complain to me about low self-esteem find it easier to conceive of comfort rather than self-confidence.  It’s definitely NOT being cocky and self-centered which is where some clients think self-esteem exists- in the realm of selfishness. 

That leads me to another phase of this- being a Shero is about taking care of yourself- FIRST.  Even if you are married, have kids, and work a full time job you take care of you first.  If you’re not OK then who’s going to be there to take care of everyone else?  I don’t know if it’s hard wiring or learned behavior but most women are care-takers in one way or another.  What’s that cliché’: If Momma ain’t happy nobody’s happy?  Well it’s truth.  If Momma is physically ill then she needs to take some much needed Momma time and get well!  In caring for yourself you are teaching your kids, loved ones, and friends that being mindful of you is OK to do.  I can not count the amount of times I’ve had clients who did EVERYTHING for their family and their family totally took advantage of that and had no respect for them in the end, nor did they know how to do anything for themselves.  That’s an equation for long term mess in my opinion.  If you have kids, seriously, they need to move out eventually and pay their own bills!

Now in caring for yourself that means learning a few skills.  1) Say No.  No is your default setting.  In order for you to say Yes there better be a good reason to say yes, and part of that reason is in saying Yes it’s to something you enjoy doing.  If it’s something you dread say NO!  2) Delegate.  Read that again- DELEGATE.  Other people are likely better at some tasks than you are.  Some of the people in your life might actually enjoy some tasks and such more than you do.  Sometimes, like with kids, they need to learn some life skills, say doing laundry.  Delegate. 3) Schedule time for you and what ever it is you need to do to rejuvenate yourself.  Some of us are introverts and need time alone to meditate, do yoga, read, watch some guilty pleasure TV.  Schedule that FIRST before anything else.  Some of us are extroverts, we rejuvenate while being with others- family dinners, coffee with a friend, etc.  Schedule that FIRST.  THEN schedule date night with your spouse/partner., and then all the other stuff.  Now your work is not going to be accepting of Tuesdays being “Me” day so I guess schedule around work.  (Silly jobs getting in the way of our well -being)

Know your limits, respect them, honor them, and keep them.  If being in a crowded noisy place isn’t your thing and you are totally able to pass up that event DO IT!  I recently did a mud run and a “cheer leader” for our team came to cheer but that person and everyone else knew busy, noisy, crowded events wasn’t that person’s idea of a good time.  Therefore it quickly became a NOT good time for that person.  One can cheer on their loved ones by having a warm meal and a glass of wine ready at home.  In my world both are just as supportive.  Frankly being honest and respecting your own needs teaches others to respect you and your needs. 

Emotionally what many people feel that struggle with “self-esteem” is worry/anxiety.  What many clients tell me is they constantly worry about how others are perceiving them, what they are thinking about them, etc.  I’m here to tell you- They aren’t thinking about you as much as you think they are.  Most humans are pretty lost inside their own head and their own world.  If someone is actually thinking about you that much well you must be pretty famous, or they have problems with obsession or something.  How others perceive you and what they think about you has everything to do with what’s inside their head.  I’ve been in the mental health field for over 15 years…you really don’t want to know what’s going on inside most people’s heads.  Truth be told the more you focus on you and yours the less people focus on you.  In fact some will begin to respect you more for doing so. 

Now this emotional part of this effects all the other parts and vice versus.  Anxiety sometimes needs some professional help to get it managed and cleared.  That’s OK.  That goes right back to take care of you!  Asking for help is key to being your own Shero.  We are social creatures us humans.  We are designed to be with other humans.  (Not saying I want to be with ALL humans but there’s a select few I enjoy being with) Therefore we are designed to help each other.  If you have been helping everyone a lot I guarantee there’s someone you’ve helped that is trying to figure out a way to give back to you.  There’s someone who’d LOVE to help you out, support you, and give back.  It’s time to let them, to ask them, to release them from this mental age of feeling like they owe you something. 

Being a Super-Woman is out.  Being a Shero is what it’s all about.  And the more you Shero on the more Sheros you will find until you have your own Shero League and with your League you will conquer your part of the world! 

Oh and lastly I have to give credit where credit is due.  The term Shero comes from Johnetta B. Cole.  Go look her up, she’s pretty darn amazing! Follow my Shero Blog and share it with your friends!


Tara S. Dickherber, LPC is a Licensed Counselor working in the St. Louis area.  When she’s not in session with her clients she can be found gardening or at the barn horsing around.  For more info on Tara check out her website:  http://www.tarasdickherberlpc.com

Friday, August 8, 2014

Be a Quitter: Stop Smoking with Hypnosis

Quit smoking in an effective, lasting manner that takes into account your history, health, and needs. Regular cost is $750, but I'm offering this as a package for $600 if you pre-pay. That's 5 hours over the course of 4 sessions. 

Share this important information with your friends and coworkers! Be quitters together and enjoy better health and a longer life.


First appointment: history. During the initial appointment, we'll discuss your history, any potential pitfalls, your smoking habit, set your quit date, and determine a realistic plan for you. We will also be discussing your support system, behavior changes, and anything I can think of to help you stay quit for good. Never will I berate you for your habit; none of us are saints. I will simply help you get from good to great. This appointment is 90 minutes and includes a complete history. 

Before second appointment. Now is the time to cut back on your smoking. Do not quit cigarettes cold turkey as it is a shock to your body and often leads to relapse. We will assess how much you are currently smoking, and cut it in half and half again before your last cigarette. I recommend skipping the gum or the patch or the electronic cigarettes. The goal is to be free of all nicotine. If that means you need longer to cut down, that is a smarter option.

Second appointment: loathe cigarettes. We're going to do some hypnosis and Rapid Resolution Therapy at this appointment. We're going to change the way your mind stores data so that you loathe the idea of smoking. This is going to be your quit day, the day before quit day, or as close as we can arrange it with our mutual schedules. If you want to have your last puffs before you see me, we could do it that way also. We're going to use strong words and imagery to make smoking absolutely repulsive.This appointment is 90 minutes.

Note: If there are issues that I feel are relevant as obstacles and need clearing before your smoking (perhaps you smoke because of anxiety symptoms or there is concurrent substance abuse), we will be using the second appointment to clear that issue instead. If that issue is more involved, I will tell you during the first appointment and we will discuss pricing. If you have concerns, just ask me.

Quit Day. The day you wake up free of the chains of tobacco use and enjoy detoxification in every cell throughout your day. You're already doing wonderful things for your body and mind just in the first day.

Third appointment: recheck. I check in with you and we discuss how it's been. This will be shortly after Quit Day, maybe in a few days or a week. If there were any cravings, I want to make them absolutely gone. If there was any slip up, I want to be sure we institute behaviors and thoughts to immunize you from them in the future. This appointment is one hour.

Fourth appointment: final recheck. This appointment is a check in to see how things have been going. It should occur somewhere between two and six weeks from the third appointment. This is to make sure that you're on the path and doing great. This appointment is one hour.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on TwitterFacebook, and Google+. Sign up for the e-newsletter HERE.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Anxiety in Others

Question: How can I enjoy my visit with my friend, who is often plagued by anxiety so badly that he makes plans, but then can't or won't leave the house? On past trips, I've been so frustrated by his seeming ambivalence to go out with me that I've wanted to leave early. I've gotten angry and upset and it ruined my visit. I want to have a different experience this time, but don't know if things will be any different on his part.

Answer: Reframe the situation. Your friend likely has social anxiety, generalized anxiety, or agoraphobia. All of these are treatable conditions. However, you simply want to work within his parameters while still enjoying his company and controlling the feelings within yourself.

Imagine your friend is the emcee of a play. His job is to announce the play, thank you for coming, do the introduction. He is on stage, holding a microphone, with a velvet curtain behind him, hiding the actors. You are sitting in the audience with the other theater goers. The theater lights come up and he says "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm very sorry, but there is a delay. Please bear with us." There is a rumble in the crowd as people murmur to one another. He leaves the stage and comes back 5 minutes later stating the lights are having a problem and it will be about 10 more minutes before they are fixed, to please excuse the further delay. Another rumble and some groaning as people express their upset to one another. 10 minutes more and he reappears. He says, "the lighting problem is more complicated then we initially thought and it doesn't look like we can solve it in just a few minutes. We will be happy to refund you or give you tickets to a later performance, if you will be a little patient as you leave, we'll get everyone satisfied as you file out."

People in the audience are visibly upset now. They are complaining about the wait and the inconvenience. They shout things like "just do the play, we can see," and "who cares about the lighting," and "the show must go on," and "we got all dressed up for this." The man on stage, your friend, looks off to the side where the director is shaking his head, though you can't see him, and says "I'm sorry, but we have to cancel this performance. Everything must be just right."

Your friend's job is simply to introduce the play, and to stall when needed, but not to determine if the play will or will not be seen. The director, unseen, un-blamed, makes those decisions. If everything is not just so, the director says "stall" or "cancel", not the emcee.

So it has been with your friend. He desires to be with you, to keep the plans you have made together, but the director, behind the curtain, is saying that it will not be possible at this time as things are not perfect, and must be made so before further action can take place.

Imagine, now, another ending to the same scene. Your friend has stalled the audience twice at the director's insistence. He goes back out to tell the audience that the play is cancelled and refunds or later tickets are going to be issued immediately. The audience, this time, reacts with disappointment, but understanding. They still murmur to each other and are saying "that's a bummer," and "I was really looking forward to this, but I guess we can come back tomorrow night," and "aw, man," and "I get it; the lights play a part in the feel of the play." How, now, does the emcee feel? Still torn, but not persecuted.

The answer, then, in how to work with someone who is responding to an unseen director, is to be a good audience member. Practice patience and empathy. And your friend, he'll feel much better, too, which will cause him to rebound faster than if you were angry and upset with him. Remake plans and notice the change in yourself. You won't feel like your visit is a loss as you won't be so angry and upset. Reframe and regroup.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on TwitterFacebook, and Google+. Sign up for the e-newsletter HERE.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Writing game

My business is words. As both a writer and a therapist, I create a scene with what I say and how it's said. I got some fellow therapists together for a little game, and invite you to play along as well.

Below are 8 pictures with no connection to one another, all simply pulled off Google Images. Your task is to write a very short story, a metaphor, or a simile for each one. Attempt to include humor wherever possible. Be brief, a phrase suffices, a sentence is plenty, or a few sentences is fine.

1. 

2. 

3. 

4. 

5. 

6. 

7. 

8. 

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on TwitterFacebook, and Google+. Sign up for the e-newsletter HERE.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Animal Instincts - Guest Blog by Julie Davis, MFT

When a monkey sees another monkey messing with his monkey he gets angry, rushes forward, bites the other monkey and other monkey runs away. Two seconds later, both monkeys are eating a banana. When Suarez saw some guy messing with his soccer ball, his mind activated the same primitive system as a monkey to get him to do something to make the guy stop messing with his soccer ball: Anger. Blood rushed upward
Image from The Chive
into Suarez’s hands, feet and jaw setting him up to fight – which is what anger is designed to do - and he bit the guy. Two seconds later Suarez is calm and re-positioned for play.

Two hours later video of the bite was all over the internet. Protests were launched as players and fans alike expressed outrage at the aggressive behavior and Suarez has been temporarily banned from future tournaments.

We expect aggression in sports events yet are shocked when we see the results of primitive mind doing its job of removing a threat. What makes Suarez an expert soccer player is possibly the very thing that got him kicked out of soccer: his ability to access and operate out of primitive mind – and, sometimes, oops, bite people.


Julie Davis
704-807-1101
Certified Rapid Resolution Therapist
Licensed Marriage Family Therapist (CA & NC)
www.juliedavismft.com julie@juliedavismft.com

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on TwitterFacebook, and Google+. Sign up for the e-newsletter HERE.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Have a Happy Relationship in 7 Steps

A long-time friend recently told me "you're the only person I know that's happily married." While I took the compliment, I thought it awfully sad for her friends. I asked "what about other relationships?" She said it was the same all over, married, living together, seriously dating, everyone she knew, including herself, was unhappy in their relationship.

It got me to thinking: What makes my relationship a happy one? Is it simply a matter of perception, that she assumes I'm happy and assumes others are not? She's not delusional and seems to have a pretty good handle on how others truly are, so that seemed unlikely. I don't present a false front to her, so that seemed an unlikely reason. Is my relationship happy? Yes, I feel happy in it. Her statements must be true, to the best of her opinion. So why am I happy and so many people, at least by this sample, seem to be less so?

I do the following things, that may be a benefit to you in your relationship:

  1. Say thank you. The little things add up. If you spouse did something around the house, notice and say thank you for having done that thing, even if it's so mundane as preparing a meal or bringing in the trash cans. After all, without them doing it, it's all on you. Once in awhile, say thank you for the bigger things "thank you for going to work every day and making sure we have enough money to pay our bills," or "thank you for always being available to listen when I need to vent about the kids." 
  2. Let it go. We have a rule that may or may not work for you: whatever is bothering you, you have to say it right away. This involves no stewing, no ruminating, no grudges. We never have an argument (we rarely argue anyhow) that involves "and remember last month when..." because we dealt with that thing last month. Sometimes these things are stupid, like "you said you'd move my laundry to the dryer and it's still in the washer." Stupid, right? I know. But isn't that the kind of thing that, if you ruminate on it, will lead you to say things about a person's character like "he never follows through." Is that true? No, but there seemed to be a lack of follow through in that instance. So deal with the issue, not the characteristic. You are with someone because you believe their traits are good, overall. 
  3. Keep it to yourself. Don't talk smack to your friends or family or coworkers. They will hear you in a bad mood and make generalizations, especially if mostly what they hear is your bad-mood stuff. They'll then give you advice like "you don't need someone like that," which may be far from true, but when several people say the same things, you may doubt yourself. Be slow to talk negatively about others (your spouse, your kids, your friends, your family) to anyone. Be quick to talk positively, though. This is not akin to wearing blinders and pretending things are as they aren't, but evaluating on your own scale, not an outsider's. Journaling is a better outlet.
  4. Compromise. You shouldn't get your way all the time. Weigh the importance of the issue with the importance of your continued relationship. The old saying is "You can either be right or happy."
  5. Communicate. Oh, so cliche! I know, I know. It's a skill; it's an art. Talk, face to face, at least a few minutes every day. Know what an expression means, a gesture, a lack of talking about something. My best friend said of me, "I can tell by the tone of your silence when something's bothering you." That's an art developed over decades.
  6. Do the little things. I'm always thinking of people I love. When I'm at a store or watching TV or reading, I may see a passage or article or item that reminds me of them. I snap a photo, send an email or a text, pick up an inexpensive thing, right then. I don't wait, don't hold things for special occasions. I say "I saw this and thought of you." Most of my circle has said I'm incredibly considerate because of that. How much effort does that take? Almost none. Almost no money - if I can't afford a thing, I photograph it and send a text "doesn't this remind you of that time we were talking about..." My one friend has a pair of scissors I got her in the shape of a woodpecker that makes her laugh every time she's in her kitchen because we were once at a party and a man told us a terrible joke involving a woodpecker with no punchline. We still laugh about it. It takes no money and almost no effort to connect with others. I made a bad-day-bag of gift wrapped item of less than $10 each that my husband can pull from when he's had a bad day at work, after a rather long run of such bad days. You know when he sees these little things, he thinks of me and that I was thinking of him. 
  7. Take nothing for granted. I believe that divorce is possible for me, that people change, that this marriage may not last forever. I spend some time each day devoting time and energy to my marriage and my spouse. While that amount of time and energy varies, I don't think I ever miss a day.

If you find this useful in some way, please share the information. If you want help making your relationship happier, please contact me for couple's counseling or individual therapy at 954-612-9553, or for a referral to a therapist in your area.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on TwitterFacebook, and Google+. Sign up for the e-newsletter HERE.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Halfway to Goals

We're halfway into the year and I'm wondering about your resolutions. Are you on track? Are you a bit behind? Are you way behind?

This year I resolved to be much more mindful. I've been successful at that in most areas of my life. I've not been so great all the time, but have put effort in those directions.

The books are coming along a bit more slowly than I'd desired as I had some family stuff throw an energy-wrench into my life for a couple of months, but it's resolving. However, it's not what I'd call "way behind", so I'm fine with the progress.

The dice game for Butter Knife Concepts is also coming along and is only held up for financial reasons at this time; lawyers are expensive! This, too, is only "a bit behind" and energy is spent regularly on its progress.

I hope you are not having to run to catch up on your goals, and that if you are, you get to running.

If you are interested in using hypnotherapy for motivation or goal-setting, please call for an appointment.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on TwitterFacebook, and Google+. Sign up for the e-newsletter HERE.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Talk About Mental Health

http://www.beatricebiologist.com/
For hundreds of years, mental health has long been talked about in hushed tones.

Is it any wonder, when we started out treating it as possession by evil spirits? Ancient skulls have been found with holes knocked in them to let out the demons. If this was the method of treatment, I'd keep any abnormal thoughts to myself, too, to avoid having to "get better" that way.

Then, society progressed and we started calling things like "hysteria" by terms like "illness" and applied a medical model. Unfortunately, that primarily consisted of locking people away in sanitariums where they were removed from public view and not much was done to help the patients get better except to add sunlight and rest.

Leaps and bounds later, we have many kinds of therapies tailored to the symptoms they treat. Even our justice system is doing a decent job of acknowledging mental illness and attempting to restore competency before someone can stand trial.

Mental health issues are common. 1 in 4 adults suffer from a diagnosable mental health disorder in a given year (NIMH). Life throws stuff at us constantly and it is okay to get overwhelmed and need and seek help. People are getting better all the time.

So why aren't we talking about mental health? Why are therapists forbidden from the same perks that doctors have in terms of referring patients to one another and advertising their services openly? Why is secrecy (AKA confidentiality) such a big deal with therapy and not as much with other medical services?

This month is Mental Health Awareness Month and I want you to challenge the status quo and speak up for mental health. Tell someone you trust what you went through and how you overcame it. Tell someone that you took medication for a period of time, or still do. Start talking so someone who is suffering will feel they can open up and share their struggles, and get better.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on TwitterFacebook, and Google+. Sign up for the e-newsletter HERE.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Trusting After a Betrayal

When a spouse cheats, there can be the thought of "I should have known" by the betrayed party. The person may feel foolish or blind and doubt his/her ability to move forward with trust.

Trust is a concept without form. Assessment is a skill we constantly use. However, trust is conceptual and an illusion.

Imagine that you are to hire someone for a job. You do so and the applicant filled out the resume while leaving off several jobs from which he/she had been fired, not mentioning regular drug use, or a history of workplace violence.

Based on the information provided, you assessed the situation and moved forward accordingly.

When sometime later you find out the hidden information, you will assess them differently with this new body of knowledge. Whether you work with or fire the employee depend on many factors and is your choice.

Will you ever see the employee as being free of that history? Certainly not; that would not make sense. Can the employee change? Absolutely; people change constantly. You will automatically bring the new information about the employee into your awareness and assess them on an ongoing basis based on their continuing behaviors.

Your powers of assessment are just fine and always have been. You were merely given misinformation from which to make the assessment. There is nothing to be done with regard to trust or assessment beyond what you have always been doing.

For individual therapy or couples' counseling after a betrayal without judgment, call for an appointment at 954-612-9553.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on Twitter and Facebook. Subscribe on the right under Follow by Email for the weekly blog delivered directly to you.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Thoughts & Feelings Without Meaning

Here's a cycle:
I had a sudden thought about harming someone.
If I can produce thoughts about harming people, I must be a bad person.
If I'm a bad person, others should avoid me.
I should keep myself away from others.
I fear that others will know that I had a thought of harming them.
I am fearsome.

Here's another cycle:
I felt sexually excited by that person.
I'm in a relationship with another person.
I must want to cheat with that other person.
I am a bad person.
I should avoid that other person.
Or maybe I should cheat with that person.

Here's one more:
I'm a recovering addict.
I had a drug dream.
I must want to use drugs.
I should have fear of relapse.
Being afraid makes me nervous.
I'm thinking all the time about drugs now.

Did you see where meaning got assigned in each of those scenarios? Thoughts or sensations or dreams don't have to mean anything at all. Respond to neutral stimuli neutrally, attaching zero meaning. If you never act on them, they remain neutral. If you have fear and obsess over the meaning, and the meaning of the meaning, that's where we get tripped up and act irrationally.

Here's those scenarios redone with neutral stimuli response:
I had a sudden thought of harming someone.
I'm not going to harm anyone.
I'm going to go on with my day.

And:
I felt sexually excited by that person.
I'm in a relationship with another person.
Gee, that was a nice feeling.
I'm not going to act on that.

Last one:
I'm a recovering addict.
I had a drug dream.
Dreams sure are strange.
I'm going to appreciate the sober life I've built.

Learn how to respond to neutral stimuli with neutrality. Call for an appointment. 954-612-9553

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on Twitter and Facebook. Subscribe on the right under Follow by Email for the weekly blog delivered directly to you.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Anger Management


Anger is bad for the body, increasing heart disease, disrupting digestion and sleep, and creating distance in relationships. Learn to be centered, in the moment, calm, and strategic in both everyday and difficult circumstances with this solution-focused anger management class.

You will learn 10 techniques in 11 weeks!

The standard class takes place in a small group of up to 8 persons. Alternately, the curriculum can be taught on an individual basis.

The course is approved by the Department of Juvenile Justice for adolescents, and is suitable for ages 13 and up. Separate groups are held for adults and adolescents. No court intervention is necessary, however, and self-referral is welcome.

Do you know someone who could benefit from working through situations with more calm and rational responsivity? Refer them or send them this link to refer themselves.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on Twitter and Facebook. Subscribe on the right under Follow by Email for the weekly blog delivered directly to you.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Priming - Preparing the Mind to Notice

From http://www.customer-insight.co.uk/article/923
The kind of therapy I utilize is called Rapid Resolution Therapy® (RRT). RRT is positive, future-thinking, now-centered, and about lighting up and moving into that which is beneficial. In doing all of that, we're priming the exact right things

Priming is preparing a person to think of something. This is why when you hear an unusual word, phrase, or name, you notice it more often in a short period of time. It's on the top of your head, you're primed to notice it.

Author Malcolm Gladwell (a favorite of mine) illustrates priming through psychological experiments. When he talks about race at the end, that's called "stereotype threat"
Video

In practice, this is why VA PTSD groups keep veterans sick. You go talk about atrocities and how crappy you felt and feel, then come back next week to do it again. Groups should be focused on solutions, be positive, and be time-limited. This is also why talk therapy fails, those therapists are priming their clients to continue thinking about what it is that sucks in their life. No, screw that, think about how you're fixing that stuff - and be primed to keep thinking about that, making things better and better. It's a small shift, but it's a huge shift! To hear about my Women's Group, read more Here.

Video on stereotype threat experiments and how to reduce it.
Video

Stereotype threat scholarly article (you can skim it or skip it) about having people declare their race and then take a test; black Americans did worse based on stereotype of lower intellect. Similar experiments were done with Asian women and math and driving and with athletics, where facilitator was changed to be black, white, buff or fat - participants did the same on number of push ups in test, but did worse on vertical jump if they were white and the facilitator was black because the stereotype is that black people are better at jumping and "white men can't jump."
Article

Advertisers utilize priming so you think of them every time you hear a slogan, see a color, notice an animal, etc. The biggest brands have the simplest logos - Nike's swoosh, Coke's ribbon, Pepsi's circle, General Mills' check mark; this is so when you see something similar in the real world, you think of them, free advertising, memory anchoring, and increased sales. I show this video in one of my classes - pause it and count the kangaroos. Every time you see a kangaroo, Dish wants you to think of them.
Video

Street hypnotist (and who I want to be when I grow up) Derren Brown primes actor Simon Pegg - look at the room, watch it twice, for the layperson, it may be difficult to weed out what is hypnosis and what is priming.
Video 1
And how it's done
Video 2
I LOVE showing these videos where I teach, and the students always have so many questions thereafter. I have a few of Derren Brown's shows on DVD and I watch them over and over and over. He's so masterful.

This is the stuff that lights me right up. Thanks for letting me share and nerd out with you.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on Twitter and Facebook. Subscribe on the right under Follow by Email for the weekly blog delivered directly to you.

Monday, February 3, 2014

Women's Group Therapy - Now Forming

Group therapy is an inexpensive way to get support and a new perspective while helping others. Our women's group is positive and upbeat while being honest and holding members accountable.

Want to know how to work through a difficult situation with a spouse, work, kids, or friends? Want another way of thinking of the daily "stuff" of life? Bring it to the group!

We'll keep the pace moving, give everyone a chance to speak, and allow you time to reflect, contribute, and get assistance.

This is a "no whiners" group. We won't be rehashing the same problems every week or simply complaining. This group is for women ready to make a difference in their lives and tackle their problems head on with a supporting and nurturing cheering squad to ask you how it went and what's next.

Groups will be held Tuesdays from 7-8pm, but if I have enough response, a 2nd slot will be added, so please call with a preferred time and day for consideration at 954-612-9553.

New members must schedule a 1-hour intake session prior to attending group for the first time, but do not need to be ongoing clients in order to attend group. Cost is $20 per meeting. Size is limited to 7 attendees.

Please share this information with any women 18 and older that you feel might benefit from attending and call 954-612-9553 to reserve your spot.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on Twitter and Facebook. Subscribe on the right under Follow by Email for the weekly blog delivered directly to you.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Emotional Pain and Returning to Therapy

I was fortunate enough to receive a massage this week. The masseuse started on my back, which was tight.
Once it loosened, I noticed pain in my neck which was later rubbed out.

When clients come to therapy, they often know what needs to be done, where they want to start, where it is tight, so to speak. Once we massage that area and the original item is loosened, sometimes there is a noticing of a pain elsewhere. Removing one problem does not create any other, but allows us to see where it was tight, but not as necessary to fix as something else.

Often, clients will come back to therapy in some months or a year because that new tight spot becomes uncomfortable. Or, there has been some new issue that causes inflammation to be massaged out.

If there is pain, there is a cause. Physical pain is a signal from the body that something needs to be changed. Emotional pain is a signal from the mind that something needs to be changed.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on Twitter and Facebook. Subscribe on the right under Follow by Email for the weekly blog delivered directly to you.