Building Resliency

mini kiss roses
photo by Autumn Hahn ©2003

I want each person to be fine no matter what happens in their life. I want everyone to have solid ground under his or her feet and to say "okay, that was a trial. What's next?" and to be able to face the next thing with determination and ferocity. As my fellow therapist and friend Tara says, we're creating warriors.

Life will never be simple and easy where only good things happen and all is perfect all the time. That'd be boring anyhow and no one would have growth or know how far they'd come. Prepare for reality - that sometimes there will be manure and sometimes there will be flowers - and that flowers are stronger and brighter for the manure.

How do we do this? Master the following three skills from an RRT practitioner:

1. Clear past trauma  The things that have happened to drop manure into your life happen suddenly, oftentimes, and these sudden dumps (if you'll pardon the pun) can cause you to become stuck and weighed down. Clearing these events frees up that stuck energy to fuel you forward. Progressing with all manner of wonder isn't fully functional until this step is done. That's why all the talk-therapy in the world still leave people with crummy memories and weeping when the dredge that stuff up. Rapid Resolution Therapy® is the process many of us great therapists use to clear the old debris so you can resume planting flowers.
2. Live in this moment  If you have depression, you're living in the past, thinking of what was and could have been or should have been. This is fruitless without a time machine, and I'd even say fruitless with a time machine as we learn and grow from our mistakes. If you have anxiety, you're living in the future, thinking of what might be and what should be or what could be. This is also fruitless as we can't change or even predict with any certainty what will happen. Some people, with certain gifts, can glimpse the future; but even then, we have the ability to change things. Living in the present moment is a skill akin to meditation, and is in the teachings of every religion. Being present means knowing that you are safe and fine and that your mind and body are responding appropriately to the situation. This may not be true and may need adjusting. 
3. Dismiss pop culture's idea of self esteem  Self esteem is being absolutely fine with you, despite and including all of your imperfections of body and disposition. This is not automatic. I will never ask you to look in a mirror and tell yourself absolutely anything as I feel your time is valuable and I'd rather you be doing something fun. If a depressed person looks in the mirror and says 10 times (100 times, 10 billion times) "I am happy," that person will be no more happy than before. There's a mismatch between truth and speech and your mind knows that and will believe truth. I will never ask you to say "I'm made of balloons" because you're not! That's what pop culture says about self esteem: that it is valuable and necessary and saying it makes it so. I call shenanigans on that. However, you can learn to be perfectly imperfect and fine with you, all of you, at this moment in time.

These techniques are effective for children and adults and are part of the bullying group I run for ages 10-18. Hold your head up and be uniquely you by unleashing your inner warrior.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on Twitter and Facebook.

Rapid Resolution Therapy® and Rapid Trauma Resolution® were developed and founded by Dr. Jon Connelly, LCSW, PhD. More information is available at www.cleartrauma.com and www.rapidresolutiontherapy.com. 

Bad Commercial

If you watched the Superbowl this year, or any TV since then, you've seen the Kia ad where the small child in the backseat asks his parents where babies come from. If you have not seen the commercial, click HERE.

Adorably fluffy animals are jettisoned from planet Baby through space, and land miraculously in their parents car via the sunroof. You must opt for the sunroof at an additional price if you are trying to conceive, I suppose.

When the child asks a follow up question to his parents' ridiculous tale, he is cut off, drowned out, and his attention redirected to a children's sing-along-song.

I hear you thinking, "So what's the big deal, Autumn? It's adorable. And who wants to talk to their kid about where babies come from anyhow? That's uncomfortable!"

Here's the big deal: Children who feel their parents are unwilling to discuss things related to their body and sexuality are less likely to discuss their body and sexuality with their parents. That makes sense, right?

Let's take it a step further: Children who are sexually abused or molested and desire to tell a trusted adult will not tell an adult who the child believes is uncomfortable discussing their body or sexuality. This child is more likely to be victimized over and over again by the same or multiple persons. This is why I'm writing a book on how to keep your child from being a victim of trauma; look for more on that this summer.

The parents in this commercial dropped the ball on this issue and Kia has done an incredible disservice to their commercial's viewers. The parents had a natural opportunity to correct their child's possible misinformation without having to sit down and make a production out of having "the talk" and could have simply taken it in stride, answering his question in an age-appropriate fashion. Or, the child may have already been abused and was trying to tell his parents, only to be drowned out by music as if what he had to say was unimportant. What would happen to that child? He's be sent back to his friend's house and the same thing would occur, but he would know his parents didn't want to hear it.

Oh, I know, it's just a commercial. But I believe that social change is slow and we have to begin at some point. Please take no parenting advice from Kia. Talk to your kids in an age-appropriate way every time the situation naturally occurs and in between. Your discomfort will lessen over time. No one guaranteed you parenting was easy, but you chose this. Keep the door open and allow your child to come to you with anything, no matter how uncomfortable it may be for him or you. This can only help your relationship over time and reduce the chances of trauma or re-traumatization.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist specializing in clearing trauma at Clear Mind Group in Weston and Whole Health Psychological Center West Palm Beach. Please call for a free consultation: 954-612-9553.

War is Hell

One of the best things about the technique I use is that veterans never have to say anything that is classified. There are techniques to get around anything that they feel would be compromising while still getting all of the job done and the client cleared of traumatic memories.

I've worked with several veterans from a couple of different wars and they have reported a decrease in nightmares, a decrease in substance cravings as a result of self-medicating, a decrease in intrusive thoughts and images, and an increase in restfulness and peace. The results are often surprising and are almost always very fast.

End years of suffering with just a few visits and feel relief begin after the very first meeting.

I offer a military discount. Please ask when calling for a free consultation at 954-612-9553.

Precise Trauma Treatment - Guest Blog by Tara Dickherber

This month's guest blog is by Tara Dickherber. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Life Coach, and Certified Rapid Resolution Therapist. She is also the Executive Director of the Institute for Survivors of Sexual Violence, a non-profit organization that provides free hypnotherapy for clients who cannot afford treatment and training for therapists working with them. Tara practices in St. Charles, Missouri and can be reached for appointment at 573-754-0348. 

Precise Trauma Treatment

I have found that, in my 4+ years of blogging, that I am sometimes inspired by the craziest things, and sometimes those crazy inspirations lead to some cool posts. Well, this week was no different. I went to the mailbox, found a mailbox full of junk mail and headed back into the house. As I quickly scanned the "junk," I saw this title on a newsletter from a local hospital: "Precise Tumor Targeting." I thought, well that's exactly what a Certified Rapid Resolution Therapist does with trauma. We target it, clear it, and update the mind.

When I say something like that to a potential client, it's typically followed up with this question: "Well how do you do that?" For me to explain how would take a very long time. What stands out more for me about how I do it is that I (and all other RRT therapists) have an understanding of the human mind that leads us to be able to target and clear those traumas.

Let me give you a quick and dirty understanding of the human mind. First, we have a subconscious mind, which makes up the majority or our mind, and then we have a conscious mind, which is really kind of small compared to our subconscious mind. Both are powerful and amazing things. However, they work very differently. Subconscious mind is the multi-tasker; it controls our breathing, blood flow, all of our emotions, all of our behaviors, and a some of our thoughts. This part of our mind responds well to symbols, stories, and metaphors. Conscious mind can do one thing at a time for a short time. It's rational and logical, kind of like Spock from Star Trek. 

 
When something traumatic happens, we can think of it as having left an imprint on our subconscious mind. (Yep, that's the emotional behavioral part of our mind.) How that traumatic event effects us is usually not logical. Yet knowing that helps me better understand what has been going on for my clients. So then, a facet of our subconscious mind gets lost in that traumatic event and doesn't realize anything else has happened since. It then begins creating emotional reactions to that event in an effort to motivate us to get something to stop. Like if someone let their dog out to go potty on a rainy day and that dog ran out into the road and got hit by a car the owner's mind is creating guilt to get him/her to stop from letting the dog out. When I see how the mind is responding to the previous trauma, I laser in on that imprint and the emotional reactions from it to then clear the trauma and thus update the mind to today and now. 

 
Thus, it's precise trauma targeting and treatment.

As I said before, this was a quick-and-dirty version of how the mind works. To fully explain Rapid Resolution Therapy and why it's so effective would take me days. The best way to understand is to just to experience it. We have 200+ Certified Practitioners across the United States and even a few in Canada. To find one near you just check here.


Be well. Be happy.
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Certified Rapid Resolution Therapist®
Executive Director of the Institute for Survivors of Sexual Violence™
www.mylifecoachtara.com

Guest Blogs

The newest feature is Guest Blogs!

I would like to feature a new blogger each month.

If you are interested in submitting a few paragraphs for my blog, please contact me by email here. Also, if you have a blog you love that you think I should read, let me know!

Topics should be relevant to some aspect of:

• trauma
• therapy
• mental health
• hypnotherapy
• Rapid Resolution Treatment
• hypnosis
• testimonials

What is trauma?

Trauma is something that leaves a seemingly-indelible mark on you. It can affect your feelings, your thoughts, your sleep, and your relationships. It may even affect how you think of yourself.

Typical examples of trauma include rape and war atrocities. These are but the tip of the iceberg. Bad events from childhood, death of a loved one, threats, bullying, witnessing a crime, domestic violence, specific encounters with scary things (perhaps a big dog), being in a dangerous situation, isolation, sudden break-ups, and medical issues like a surgery or amputation can all be traumatic. The abrupt nature of the event is traumatizing because the victim has no warning, no time to prepare defenses or use coping skills. This leaves a mark on the mind that causes a facet of the mind to attempt to prepare defenses after the fact. When those don't work, the mind becomes confused and attempts to replay the event until the defenses work; they cannot work, as the mind cannot create safety where it was not, and the result is flashbacks (when waking) and nightmares (when asleep).

Typically, in adolescents and adults, trauma manifests itself through crying, sadness, withdrawal, re-experiencing the event as if it were happening again, and nightmares. In children, the symptoms are more varied as children are less adept at compartmentalizing memories and coping with things like flashbacks in a situationally-appropriate way. With children, you find behaviors such as crying, aggression, anger, isolation, nightmares, mood swings, confusion, and irritability. These symptoms may persist the life of the victim, from the time of the trauma on. If these things come up at any time, the issue is not yet cleared and needs to be cleared. Even if "it only hurts when I do this, doctor," the answer is not "well, don't do that," but "let's make it not hurt anymore."


With trauma, the mind's gears grind to a halt and attempt to free themselves by repeatedly forcing the same action. Unlike other mental health issues, trauma is specialized in that the therapist must adjust that facet of the mind that is malfunctioning at the precise point of stuck-ness. This is not done by reliving the experience - or the mind would have done this during a flashback or nightmare. The commonly accepted technique is narrative therapy, which is the retelling and reframing of events so that the victim becomes the hero. This is a bending of the truth - or creating a better truth. A more effective method is Rapid Resolution Treatment. With RRT, you will be talking, laughing, losing stock in Kleenex, and staying present, in the moment, while telling - but not living - the experience, with the kinds of emotions you would have in an everyday conversation.

If you are interested in clearing your trauma, or want to refer someone you know, you can call 954-612-9553 and make an appointment in my Weston, Florida office. Trauma is my specialty, and can be easily cleared in 2 sessions, or about 4 hours. (Just as a comparison, narrative therapy takes about an hour a week for about 8 months.) If you do not live locally, I do travel frequently, and may be able to make arrangements to come to you, but the price will be significantly higher. Instead, you may find an RRT therapist in the US and Canada at the Institute for Rapid Trauma Resolution.

International Trauma

Today's blog is short, but features links you might find interesting from all around the world.

For more on any story, click the links included.

• Irish Health reports that Northern Ireland has the highest level of PTSD of the 30 countries studied.
• Adelaide Now reports police offers in Australia are getting more help due to the trauma of the situations they 
• encounter.
• The Press echoes that sentiment in New Zealand, as well as for civilians after the Canterbury earthquake in February.
• ABS CBN News reported that trauma counselors were sent to the Phillippines after the flash floods in December.
• Voice of America has published a new book for Cambodians who survived the Khmer Rouge to assist in dealing with traumatic affects.